I woke up crying. I was so confused and scared. I was scared that my dream was telling me my destiny for the afterlife. Not every dream indicates that the surreal events in it, is what’s going to happen in your present life. Sometimes a dream has an alternative meaning behind it. You just have to be wise enough to figure it out.I figured mines out. It made perfect sense. It was a sign that it was time for me to live. It was time for me to break free of the pain and fear that had plagued me since childhood.
Imagine driving up to a corner store just to grab some drinks for you and some friends and you spot someone committing a terrible crime. What do you do? Take off and call for help or act like you don’t see them? I saw her (I assume her, I never did see a face) but I didn’t know she’d seen me. I was ready to back out of the lot when she came my way. I sunk down into my car seat and hoped I’d disappear. Of course that wasn’t the case.
She walked up to my vehicle and begin to pour her gasoline around my car too. She was angry and hurt. I couldn’t see a face, just a womanly shape. I yelled out, “God loves you, he cares about you, if only you would believe.” The lady’s response (was a woman’s voice that responded) was what could God do for her, that he didn’t love or care about her. She took a cigarette out of her pocket and lit it. As she got ready to flick the lit cigarette to the ground, I cried out in my sleep; “There’s something about the name Jesus.” Her cigarette lost flame and she took off running.
I got out of my vehicle and hid behind a bush near the store. A loud deep voice, I presume it was God’s, yelled out, “Why are you hiding?” “What are you afraid of?”
I woke up from the dream. I woke up from the false sense of security I’d created for my life. I knew that I had dealt with rejection stemming from being taken from my mother as a baby and being bounced around to group homes and foster homes until adulthood. I was afraid of EVERYTHING imaginable. My experiences of the world was bullying, molestation, rape, child abuse, abandonment and instability. I knew after that revelation of a dream that I had to share my story with the world. I had to be the voice for the voiceless. I had to give the insight into the ‘ward of the state’ scene.
My dream revealed that anything was possible with God. My nightmare/dream told me that no one could harm me or permanently do damage as long as Jesus was by my side. I was told to come from behind the scenes and don’t be afraid to shine. I refused to allow anyone or anything to dim the light that was placed upon my life. I’d had my past experiences for a reason and I finally figured out what to do with the pain. I wrote my book behind this dreaming experience. The book detailed everything I had went through, was going through, and how I continued to triumph over my circumstances.
I wrote a book because my dream told me to stop hiding and to rid myself of fear from what others might think, say, or believe about me.
That dream changed my life and made me work on me. Now I’m trying to save lives one day at a time through my story and my nonprofit dedicated to women. Let your dreams guide you, not scare you.