You think you want it from what you see
You don’t know how hard it is to be me
You outside, looking at the outside
Not knowing the pain that I feel inside
Yeah, you thought it was all good
Don’t let my smile fool ya
I think you misunderstood
Some days I don’t wanna be me
I cry many a nights cuz I just wanna be free
My past, pains, keep haunting me
I wanna move on
They just won’t let me be
Let me great
The damage has been done, it’s already too late
I try to escape through my thoughts
Which drive me wild, I haven’t been at peace ever
Or it’s been a long while
If you see my smile, don’t think its all gravy
My emotional rollercoaster got my mind all wavy
What you think I got, I guarantee you’re wrong
I’ve been messed with by damn near everyone
I really want to be left alone
You can never feel my pain
Or say you understand
Because you’ll never be me, walk in my shoes, do you understand?
Life doesn’t come easy
There is no lesson plan
We just take one day at a time
Hoping the bad stuff subsides
Why I gotta go through hell just to learn a lesson
When I’d always do right if I just got my blessings
Why was I chosen to be the chosen one
Maybe I didn’t want the challenge; maybe I wanted to have fun
Stolen memories, childhood and life
Now I’m struggling to love
While being someone’s mom & wife
Nobody ever showed or taught me what love is
Yet I’m expected to dish out the shit
When you living all alone in your mind
And you just dragging along with the times
And you just can’t figure out the whys
What do you do
Do I look okay to you
If only you knew what my heart feels, what my mind does think
Do you really know the feeling of defeat
My world, my small world in my head
Has me constantly wanted to go hide and never leave the bed
I don’t know if what I ever feel is true or real
Right or wrong, I really don’t know how to feel
If what I feel is based on trauma, doesn’t mean I’m making making up a life of drama
Can I feel and it be valid
Not based on my past like that’s always it
If you think you know me guess again
I really keep failing in life
When all I’ve tried to do is win
I’m ignored, disregarded and passed by
I feel like a reject that’s why I always cry
Trying my hardest to get someone to see me
Had me changing my life to whoever else every wanted me to be
Still played, talked about and picked on
So I’m living in a world full of people, all ALONE?
wisdomequalsmyname 