Sometimes I just want out. I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust my feelings. I don’t trust my thoughts. I feel like I am THE problem. I think that maybe I create the problems.
I just can not seem to find a sense of happiness. I know people say happiness is something you create, but how can you create something you have never seen or experienced? How can you live something you have never lived?
Everyone is such a huge disappointment in your life because you have no true clue what life is supposed to look like. If you have lived your entire life in miserable, sad situations, from childhood, stemming through adulthood, how do you adjust?
I hate being here in this world because I cannot seem to get use to everything and everyone in it. I’m so sad inside because I feel like I do not know where I am going or where to go for that matter. I am so afraid of the ‘what ifs.’ I’m afraid to leave unhappy situations because maybe the next situation will make me unhappier.
I feel stuck in every scenario and I don’t know if that’s okay. I don’t know if the things that make me sad and disappointed are real or validated. Do I have the right to validate my feelings if I don’t have the right perceptions? How about if my perceptions and feelings are correct?
I’m so tired. Tired of not knowing what I want, who I want or where I want to be or who I want to be. I’m tired of being miserable in situations and just dealing with it because I have always had to do so in the past. I’m tired of hurting from self sabotage and possibly unnecessary disappointment in others.
I’m exhausted from overthinking, not trusting my thoughts, not trusting others, trusting the wrong people and expecting things; it seems like I will never get from life.
I’m burned out with my brain. I feel like it’s slowly deteriorating from anxiety, depression and misery.
I’m scared because I am not living, I’m just existing, in misery and despair and I don’t know how to leave this world I have created in my own mind!